Perhaps you think about going up to a stranger and introducing yourself or saying hi. This can be super intimidating. Don’t worry, this is not how most people start a conversation or make friends. Humans are creatures of habit. We go to the same places whether it be school, a club, or your favorite coffee house. In these places you will often find familiar faces. These are the people that are easier to approach. The following strategies are perfect for these situations. 1. Give a compliment. People love compliments, especially if you mean them and people can usually tell if you are being genuine so please find something that you find to be true. A simple compliment like “I like your top.” Is easy and straight forward. If you want it to have a personal touch, you can say something like “You wear that perfume/cologne nicely.” Instead of “I like your perfume/cologne.” This way you are complementing the person and not the scent.
2. Ask for help. Say it is the first day of class and you do not know where the classroom is. Simply asking someone for directions is the perfect opportunity to start a conversation and say thanks!
3. Be vulnerable! I know this can be scary but often instead of someone making fun of you or whatever you fear, it eases the mood and can make the other person comfortable enough to also be vulnerable. For example, it is the first day of class, simply admitting that you are nervous can go a long way.
4. Wear something interesting. Wearing a funny T-shirt or cute headband invites other people to complement you and guess what?! This is another opportunity to give them a complement.
5. Pass something out. When I was a junior, I did not have a Valentine. Instead of moping about wondering why there weren’t any guys who were interested in me, I decided everyone would be my Valentine’s. I got pink cellophane wrap, tons of candy, and those little cards that we all passed out in elementary school (mine were Winnie the Pooh) and passed them out. Not only did I make myself happy, I made a lot of other people feel special. This went a long way with the people who would have not gotten anything otherwise. But it does not have to be Valentine’s Day. I had a client who made custom stickers and passed them out. Her classmates LOVED THEM! Thank you A for this idea! Lastly, anytime you can bring food to an event is always good.
Once you are able to start a conversation, the next step is to learn how to carry a conversation. Read my blog post How to Carry On a Conversation for more tips.